CAT LOVERS please listen!
Cat lover, your cat walks on your floor. I know, you could eat off of your floor, you say. Not sure when that became “brag worthy,” ‘cause I know you certainly can eat off of mine…..my cats do all the time! I appreciate how they clean up all the yummies that me and my Grands leave in our haste….They appreciate it too!
But seriously, can I unpeel this right here? We are all adults…..right?
You’ve seen them – the photos and videos of people cooking and baking, and making all these beautiful dishes and desserts in their pristine kitchens. I often wondered how they do it. Now I know my mom always insisted “clean as you go,” but seriously WTH? No real home cook can do this!! We’ve got our hands full whisking roux and sautéing onions and garlic to the perfect pitch but not letting them burn. It’s an art people, and art is messy, and unless you have helpers….. just sayin’.
Ahhh I’m off on a tangent for which I am famous……but it ties in…..I promise. Ok, so people take all these photos of their work in the kitchen…..and then you see IT. And if you are anything like me, it never gets boring, and it never gets easy, and your mind explodes each and every time. Your brain first says “photoshopped”…… no, no, no, no, no! And you ask yourself “is this real life?” Let me assure you, IT IS!! Not by mistake, but on purpose, there is one (or a whole album) with their “helpers”……not their small children or their grandbabies (although, I have something to say about that too). These little helpers have four little paws and fur! Yep, these little feline helpers are wrapped around batter bowls, stretched along the charming array of cupcakes, and poised over the beautiful pasta dishes….. so neat, so clean……. “helping????? ”
I am ALWAYS ….in every fiber of my being, from the shallows to the depths of my soul, throughout all the pieces of my heart, and in every corner of my mind…..bewildered, baffled, and flat-out amazed as I scream “WHHHHYYYYYY?”
Here, allow me to give you a glimpse into my head:
Moments earlier, your little helper walked across your clean floor down your plush just-vacuumed carpeted steps (I’m looking at mine now with pride), and off to the cute little box you’ve tucked away, hidden where no one can see or smell their indoor outhouse. And don’t you dare try and school me on this. I have two 15-year-old feline fur babies. One was 29 pounds and one 24 pounds (they both have lost a few inches after some very expensive weight management food). They drink from two Love My Feline cat fountains, and have more beds around this house than humans. Their litter box is cleaned at least twice a day, and they are professionally groomed on an embarrassing level, so save the animal hater charade I know the routine….
They make litter boxes so clever that they clean themselves, and all that’s well and good but people listen to me…..let me break this down so we are all on your cat’s page……
They $h!+ and P!$$ in a box in your home. They then walk through that box that has feces and urine….. they don’t wipe…..they can’t. It’s on their fur to SOME degree, enough to be traceable……and then most cats drag their sweet little paws and scrape to hide the urine or feces.….And then walk back up your pristine steps to lay among your cupcakes!!! And you record it for all the world to see. You let them on your countertops and let them lay among the food you eat or will deliver to a friend……I can promise you, It’s one of the mysteries of my world that you think this behavior is okay…..That’s just something my mind can’t handle! This had to be said!!